Not wanting to give up the pain…

As they say, “in the grand scheme of things,” it may not seem so important. But to my wife and I it is quite significant. Last week, we were prompted (ethically and lovingly) to send our Airedale Terrier pooch of (nearly) 11 years to Heaven – being over 80 years, when adjusting his age to that which is comparable to humans. His blood work showed kidney failure. If he was human, it would have been the circumstance to go on dialysis and be on a transplant list. The whole episode came on quickly, and as a result of the kidney failure he was unable to hold down food or water. Overall, he had always been a robustly healthful dog.

We held him in our arms as the vet administered the meds, Henry always knew was loved.

We are not ashamed to say that we love a non-human creature as much as we love Henry.

The pain is tremendous and we get chocked-up many times each day – so much so that my throat has begun to hurt again, after a quite recent bout of adenoiditis. That said, we are not ready to give up the pain, or try to run from it. Initially there were fleeting thoughts of removing reminders of him from our household and such, including my downtown business location. But we realized that we didn’t want to do that. It is strange sounding – even though it is heart-wrenching, it feels better to embrace the pain.

Commonly, other than to run errands, or go out for a few hours or some such, Henry was never alone. We took him on our trips. Together, my wife and I didn’t take any flying trips while we had Henry, we just couldn’t stand to leave him in a kenneling facility. During that time, we didn’t have anyone who could stay with him. Previously, we frequently flew to our vacation destinations. If my wife, who is an ER charge nurse was working, he went to work with me each time. If she was off, he stayed home and held down the home fort.

We have never had children, so no doubt it is possible that we have been extra close to our pooches. Having said that, we have never anthropomorphized them on an any obvious level – never been tempted to think or believe that they are somehow human. This is in NO way critical of people who do, it is just not our way.

Having Henry in our lives has been a splendid blessing, and that is what is so important to us. Nothing was any more fun or good-feeling than being with Henry. We took him on at least two long walks each day – he was always ready to go do things. Airedale Terriers were initially bred for hunting, but we are in no way hunters. He certainly considered squirrels and rabbits as potential prey, but he wasn’t allowed to find out for sure.

It seemed impossible for him to be aggressive toward other dogs or toward people. Albeit, for whatever reason, he had a severe dislike toward a veterinarian we used to take him to, and that is the ONLY person he ever tried to bite. He could be quite stubborn in some instances, but not to any extreme.

We believe that having Henry in our lives was quite in the spirit of the right thing for the right sake. He was a kindred spirit who loved and wanted to be loved, and he was SO loved, loved not just by us, but by so many of our friends and acquaintances – being QUITE social. He brightened up our lives and the lives of so many others. It doesn’t get better than that on this earth.

My wife and I have discussed that we believe that he will be there greeting us when it is OUR time, just like our other previously deceased loved ones. It is a SO wonderful part of a sparkling spine-tingling/shivering ‘glimpse of Heaven.’

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Positive Thinking – Does it really work or can it interfere with “real” healing? Can the ‘magic elixir’ be found in a deeply loving sense of true appreciation and responsibility? Maybe so.

Humbly and respectfully, I believe we must learn to better and better act in a healthful spirit of loving selflessness, allowing ourselves the true freedom of alleviating expectations, preset patterns of thinking, hidden agendas, and the need for selfish recognition. It is in the loving and altruistic spirit of true honesty, allowing for true happiness – it is realizing greater and greater mastery in playing the part of an unblemished ‘witness’ to our internal and external environments. It is the right thing for the right sake in selflessly embracing true health…alleviating the pernicious weight of what we may coin as our addictive emotional attachments and also what are most typically viewed as physical vices/attachments. In better and better realization of this healthful spirit, we can more so avoid getting permanently stuck on stagnant plateaus (which over time, can become like a purgatory/living death). Nothing can be more healthful than this deep positive outlook – and yin to yang, nothing can be more healing.

If one’s positive outlook is rooted in substantive and meaningful objective insight, then it becomes more and more real. If one’s so-coined “positive thinking” is rooted in silly, empty, superficial, or nonsensical outlooks, positive thinking is just blind and not real. This is not meant in a spirit of negativity – albeit genuine healthful change has to be founded on serious work and deep objective insight. We CAN learn to play the part of a less and less blemished witness to both our external and internal worlds, one reflecting upon the other, but once again, this must be rooted in genuine effort and insight. There may be nothing more healthful.

Consistent with this issue, it is significant to learn to NEED to genuinely embrace a deep abiding spirit of forgiveness of ourselves and others. If there is a Heaven, if there is a ‘key to the universe,’ if there is a ‘sixth sense,’ they are rooted in true honesty, promoting of true happiness and true freedom…but most importantly, needing less and less to hide behind. It can be a benevolent and selfless ‘glimpse’ of an existence, so-to-speak, in which we have no need for attachment to yesterday, today, or tomorrow – once again, nothing to hide behind…all is known.

Here in this existence, in a splendidly healthful spirit, we can live each day, each moment, inspired anew…more and more ‘present’ and embracing of the miracles/blessings of each moment…inclusive of healthful change. A key to unlock the door to true health, i.e., the ‘magic elixir,’ may be found in true appreciation – true appreciation of our best moments AND our difficult moments. This is our true responsibility, and is a beyond-words sparkling spine-tingling/shivering means by which to realize our most important responsibility of all…making this world a better place! This may be among the most important reasons we are here. Oh boy! — Dr. Glen Hepker

 

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True appreciation of the miracle of the moment…oh boy!

“Life seems to fly past us at a speed which is congruent with the level at which we detach ourselves from its potentially deepest and most loving and heartfelt aspects.” — Dr. Glen Hepker (Copyright 2011)

What are your thoughts on this dynamic? We often complain that the “year” or the “time” have “gone by SO quickly.” Albeit, when we genuinely think of all of the things we’ve done during that so-called ‘time (inclusive of the innumerable moments),’ then it doesn’t seem to be so fast. AND additionally, if we make genuinely significant effort in order to learn to be more and more mindful, present…BEING the moment that we are in, I can promise that the time will NOT fly by (and it will not be boring either!). Not at all. From this perspective, SO many moments each day will likely also not be so easily forgotten, e.g., they will be appreciated in a more and more healthful loving spirit. In a state of mindfulness, we can become less and less blemished witnesses to our internal and external environments…witnesses to so much of the magic that we often ignore.

If there is a ‘key to the universe,’ then this level of bright beautiful sparkling ‘true appreciation’ may be a substantive part of it. It is light of the pernicious weight of preset patterns of thinking and expectations. It is not living for the moment, it is living in the moment. This is truly a skill, AND there is always(!) room for improvement: Abiding awareness of this dynamic is a VERY important aspect of mindfulness and its congruent sense of splendid appreciation.

‘Being’ present and mindful is SO very much about true appreciation of the miracle of the moment. It is SO very much about true honesty, promoting of true happiness and true freedom…but most importantly, needing less and less to hide behind.

It is QUITE difficult to be upset, angry, depressed, sad, anxious, or frustrated, if one is not thinking such thoughts. If one is mindful, present, focusing on just what one is doing in the moment, and enjoying (‘being’) a deep sense of gratitude, then it is really difficult to be lost in the dark and heavy cyclical thinking that can make us ill or worse.

This is by no means easy stuff – it is a skill. Albeit, nothing can be more rewarding than embracing such true effort – except maybe the resulting ‘glimpse of Heaven.’ It IS true health through true responsibility. — Dr. Glen Hepker

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Appreciating my life RIGHT NOW.

We all can take a lot for granted. As you read this, this is YOUR life RIGHT NOW. In a REALLY significant way, we can become more and more aware that each moment…it is our life and its living. Each moment, we can become less and less concerned with past and future – NOT living for the moment, but IN the moment. Each moment we can better understand the saying, “No yesterday, no today, no tomorrow”: SO important is the notion that we can ALWAYS gain greater skill, deeper insight into this genuinely healthful outlook. We can learn to further and further relinquish ourselves of fear of healthful change.

How so? First, it is quite important to ask ourselves, “How happy can I handle being?” How much deeply loving appreciation and gratitude can I realize, enjoy, feel in any given moment? How ‘present’ can I be, how mindful, how light can I be of the terrible weight of unhealthful expectations – preset/habitual patterns of thinking. How long can we stand to remove the dark lenses tainted by addictive patterns? How long can we lift the weight off of our shoulders…the weight of unhealthful outlooks which become more and more ingrained each day. Yin to yang, how long can we stand being lost in our pernicious cyclical thinking…round and round and round, like a living purgatory?

Think of the time and place in which you were the happiest. Do you hope that you’ll again be that happy – in some future? Someplace? Somewhere? Does it really seem impossible right now? Please think of the blessings/gifts you have in your life. Life may be quite difficult, albeit you ARE a living, breathing, thinking miracle in this universe…NO one of us more than the other!

What if true health is intrinsically linked with true appreciation – deep loving gratitude? What if it is true that ALL things would be easier, more pleasurable, even a whole lot of fun, when we deeply embrace a loving spirit of genuine appreciation? What if true appreciation is SO very much about a light bright beautiful spirit? What if this is all consistent with the notion of ‘true health through true responsibility?

What if, what if, what if? You may say that some of us have it more difficult than others. Quite likely so! Albeit, human beings have SO quite often accomplished the greatest things (in human history) during the most difficult times – the darkest of times. Do you think maybe they experienced some VERY special moments, some epiphanies – even in the most difficult of conditions? What if it is possible to have such epiphanies…deep and wonderful insights each day? Do you think this has something to do with living your life RIGHT NOW – living it in a splendid spirit of true appreciation – living life as a living loving art form? How many living loving sparkling spine-tingling/shivering epiphanies can we handle in one day, one life? Once again, how happy can we allow ourselves to be – how much can we handle?

It is SO much about learning to better and better play the part of a less and less blemished Witness, being more and more aware and appreciative of the miracles going on inside of us and all around us, ALL OF THE TIME. Do you want a ‘glimpse of Heaven?’ How many? How many do you want to handle? How honest are you willing to be about it?

Blaming and complaining are a disease and may be a significant part of the problem – that which holds us back from genuinely living life: If there is a Heaven, if there is a ‘key to the universe,’ they are rooted in true honesty, promoting of true happiness and true freedom…but most importantly, needing less and less to hide behind. It is SO very much about doing the right thing for the right selfless sake: In each thought, statement, and action, it is SO important to ask ourselves if what we do or think are serving the greater good. It is SO very much about a true love, inclusive but so(!) much more than, familial, friendship, and romantic love. It is SO very much about deep and abiding appreciation of the notion of true health through true responsibility.

What else might it be about? It might be about true forgiveness. I’m not here to push religion, but I can’t think of a more to-say-the-least shining example: As Christ was dying on the cross, he said, “Forgive them…for they know not what they do.” This REALLY is true appreciation of the miracle of the moment. This REALLY is living life RIGHT NOW. So quite humbly and respectfully, we could use a lot more role models and mentors like that.– Dr. Glen Hepker

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How much happiness do we really want?

An inquiry from a reader of my blog and book: “I mean it point blank – just how happy do we really want to be? All the knowledge we could ever want is at our fingertips, yet for so many of us, we just don’t seem to get it. I don’t mean this to be as negative as it sounds, it is just so disheartening to see things as they are. It seems that times change, but people don’t. And certainly, I am not saying that I am better at any this than anyone else.”

Response: Humbly and respectfully, no doubt this all is hard work for all of us, requiring of true effort, to say the least. I believe that likely the most important thing in this and many regards, is that we should first and foremost accept that there is always room for improvement on this Earth, greater and greater insight. So often we get stuck in the notion that we’ve reached a pinnacle and don’t have to try anymore. This may be a VERY important key to true happiness.

I believe substantive insight into these dynamics can be realized by way of lovingly embracing the notion of Acting Without Acting, i.e., endeavoring to do the right thing for the right sake – without the need for selfish recognition or hidden agendas. It is in the wonderfully healthful spirit of true honesty, promoting of true happiness and true freedom…but most importantly, needing less and less to hide behind. It is in learning to better and better play the part of the unblemished witness to one’s internal and external environments – in a genuinely benevolent and altruistic spirit of deep and abiding true appreciation. It is learning to HONESTLY display oneself with dignity, decency, goodness, and grace…no matter what. It is SO very much about realizing that we are all so very much more in the same common boat than we so often think and act. It is SO very much about supporting others in their healthful goals.

There is a true love beyond, yet inclusive and in splendid harmony with, friendship, familial, and romantic love. It is the living embodiment of true forgiveness – forgiveness of ourselves and others, without the dire heaviness of significant co-dependence. It is in better and better alleviating the pernicious weight of hate, greed, and ignorance. It is SO much about enjoying loving sparkling spine-tingling feelings in interaction/harmony with others…a loving resplendent quintessential lightness of being. It is ‘true health,’ answering to what may be the greatest of responsibilities…making the world a better place (vs. tearing it down and/or just going along for the ride – giving up or not really trying). It is learning to more and more skillfully gather an impeccable appreciation of the bright beautiful light of life.

“Please ask yourself…when is the last time you had truly sweet and innocent, loving, spine-tingling real fun? As a child? Ever? What true joy it is – selfless…light…shared. It is back to The Garden. Oh boy!” — Dr. Glen Hepker (Copyright 2011)

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Is gratitude a key to health and wholeness?

“What would life be truly like if one could honestly say…’If in Heaven I have what I have now, I would be happy?’” (Copyright 2011)

What are the consequences of this outlook? This is NOT to say that it is up to any of us to decide what Heaven should or would be like – it certainly is not the point here. The spirit of the (initial) question is most particularly congruent with the following questions, e.g.: What level of ‘true health’ would we have to realize/enjoy, before we could honestly make such statement? What level of ‘true responsibility’ are we willing take and/or enforce? Is it our (even dire/true) responsibility to make the world a better place (as such)? Consistent with this outlook, most of us have the ability to do this…we already have the gifts/blessings we need to do so.

Humbly and respectfully in the ages-old health/wellness philosophy that I teach, coach, and endeavor to follow, it is so VERY much about a deep altruistic spirit of true appreciation – consistent with living one’s life as a LIVING LOVING ART FORM. This level of benevolent gratitude is a splendid healing mechanism unto itself…even a quintessential form of preventative medicine. It can allow us a level of true freedom which is almost impeccably light and almost impeccably free of the heavy crepuscular weight of addiction to unhealthful expectation, entitlement, desire, craving, AND fear of healthful change.

What level of honesty, objective insight does this necessitate? How healthful do we want to be? In these arts it is said that such a healthful way of life is requisite of “true honesty, promoting of true happiness and true freedom…but most importantly, needing less and less (and less!) to hide behind.” Such a healthful way of life is congruent with the true effort to realize life as a genuine ‘work of art.’ It is Acting Without Acting – endeavoring to do the right thing for the right selfless sake. It is lovingly, selflessly, honestly, and appreciatively learning to play the part of a less and less blemished ‘witness.’ It is being more and more mindful, meditative, AND ‘light’ of addiction to our fear of healthful change (AND light of the potentially pernicious fear of what things can really look like in reflection…our reflection inwardly and outwardly).

What does all of this mean in practical application in our daily lives? It is up to you and I to decide for ourselves. But there is a traditional hint which is given, e.g.: “It is NOT about some far-flung time/goal/objective to accomplish/reach in some mysterious future…it is about right NOW.” It is about being ‘present’ and loving and deeply appreciative right now, this moment, nothing more and nothing less. IF we are willing to see it, BE it for real, it just might be a beyond splendid/beyond words oh boy(!) ‘glimpse of Heaven.’

Gandhi once said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” In Christianity, there is an old saying we’ve likely all heard – “God helps them that help themselves.”

Just one more point to make – to complement these aforementioned points: What could make one feel more light than the ‘light’ – ‘lightness’ of ‘true forgiveness?’ I am not here to set forth religious tenets, albeit I can’t think of a more genuinely impeccable model of such forgiveness, e.g., as Christ was dying on the cross he said, “Forgive them…for they know not what they do.” It is requiring of another big “oh boy!” If this isn’t true health then what is?! Quite humbly and respectfully, this was/is some very special mentoring. — Dr. Glen Hepker

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How much gratitude do ya need to be healthy?

Humbly and respectfully, this is all about working toward taking deep and abiding ownership of a WAY OF LIFE in which one gathers a genuinely honest spirit of true appreciation and gratitude…more and more each moment. What makes this all the more real, is in knowing that among the greatest gifts of all is that there is always room for improvement: It is a significant aspect of taking true responsibility for one’s own health and well-being. This deep and abiding sense of living loving gratitude greatly enhances the quality of our lives, and is a substantive part of a dynamic of raising ourselves up, up, and up, so well beyond what are often pernicious stagnant plateaus which can be like a living death.

This splendidly healthful outlook is distinguished by its remarkable, thought-provoking, and ingenious notion of coalescing ethics, morality, and deeply rooted insight/objectivity skills with concepts of health and wellness, i.e., True Health through True Responsibility. A primary notion within this philosophy is that one cannot realize true health without the necessary and genuinely skilled attributes of true appreciation and true honesty. It is a deep and abiding sense of mindfulness, insight, morality, clear objectivity – learning the genuine skill of being able to look within and without (into one’s internal and external environments), without fear, without preset patterns of thinking, and/or weight of expectations. AND in addition, it is with the SO healthful spirit of the bright beautiful living light of forgiveness.

Certainly this is ‘tough stuff,’ to say the least…but quite likely there may be very little that could be more rewarding. As an example, and to put it most simply, the notion that, each moment, we are living, breathing, thinking/intelligent, free-willed functioning beings, on a lava-filled rock/planet which supports us while we act out our innumerable comedies and dramas on its surface/stage setting, while spinning at 1000 miles per hour, traveling through space at an average of 66,000 miles per hour around a star, in a solar system tuned like a clock, in a galaxy in a universe moving at least at the speed of light, means, when one views it objectively, that each moment is by any rational and appreciative standard, a miracle without measure. And truly, this is just one example of the innumerable blessings for which we can choose to be appreciative of in our lives: Just the ‘tip of the iceberg’ so-to-speak.

No matter how difficult life is for us, no matter the many ‘thorns in our side’ in our daily lives, how dare we not appreciate the gift of each moment for the miracles that they are! Why do we not feel a deep and abiding rational, emotional, and even spiritual appreciation for each moment, in each moment, as a way of life, a way of being? Maybe the key to this is outrageously simple: we need to overcome our seemingly instinctive fear of a deep, abiding, altruistic, and living loving spirit of gratitude which is congruent with gathering a level of objective insight that introduces us to the notion of not needing anything to hide behind. Such healthful clarity is a significant aspect of what is humbly described as a ‘glimpse of heaven.’

John F Kennedy once said, “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them.” This may be an especially significant point to make on this day – Memorial Day.

We can face and overcome our clinging, our addiction to desire and fear of healthful change. This healthful way of being cannot be realized without deep gratitude…without gathering a genuine spirit of true appreciation more and more as a way of life – way of being. It is consistent with living each day in a sparkling spine-tingling/shivering fashion in which we are resplendently recharged and inspired anew. — Dr. Glen Hepker (Copyright 2011)

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